January 24, 2008
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Because of this crazy writer's strike, I am missing some of my favorite shows on TV. I figured I would share some of my favorite Dwight Shrute quotes today from the "Office". He just cracks me up!
Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.”
A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.
Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of "Oklahoma!" in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good.
Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions.
Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan’s been mean to him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
[bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!
I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
Did you know that the human thumb is formed by 15 interchangeable joints? Wrong. Don’t believe everything that people on television tell you.
Hey! Who put my stapler in jello again?
''That's a terrible idea...Them, [the women] in there all together. They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle...Wreak havoc on our plumbing.''
and a couple of Michael Scott quotes:
I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.
Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard "women and children first". But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.
You may look around and see two groups here; white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
New York, New York. The city so nice, they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.
I'm very sorry, I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid. I thought you were just speaking abnormally.
Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. [types something] 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at. (he wants a wife and kids)
Well apparently in the medicine community, negative means 'good.' Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.
Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
they make me laugh
peace
Comments (8)
Good grief!!! That's amazing! Thanks for reawakening my love for that show.
Heh
I've never seen that show, but I've got to some time--I've heard a lot of good things about it. I never think to watch television ever since we lived in the UK for seven years where there were (count 'em) four channels boasting such wonders as gardening shows, Dallas reruns, sheep-herding trials, cricket finals, BBC 1, BBC 2, and Indian music concerts. I sort of got out of the TV habit and never regained it! I do intend to watch American Idol this year, though. When I remember.
oh my! if only you knew how much i needed that!! thanks!
ryc: chris and i absolutely LOVE 'the office'....and i can't find too many other people who do. i have a friend that just crinkles her nose when i mention it. if you can't get the humor---well, ...i guess it just shows how well i'll get along w/ that person and what kind of things make them laugh, etc. i guess my sense of humor might be a bit twisted or something. ha! and yes, i MISS it too!! there's so much about the show that i love---but, one subtle thing is the contempt or whatever that michael has towards toby. i love that---poor toby.
have you seen "little miss sunshine"?
THAT was funny and cvreative and ....yeah.
Hahaha pretty funny....and yet sick at the same time.....
I'm going to the pet expo tomorrow! Whoohoo! You'd said you were going to try to convince Ron to take you. Did it work? If you go look for me, I'll be wearing a purple shirt with red polka-dots, blue jeans, and a yellow hat with white dasies...lol, just kidding, of course!
i hate this writer's strike, but i support the writers. is that contradicting? or is that two different things altogether? iunno...
the classes i have this semester are definitely interesting. i have the same instructor for my basic design and drawing 1 class. my commercial art class seems like it's going to be boring. and my speech class just seems like it's going to be boring too. other than that, english should go better this semester.
soooo.... i was wondering, well, before i ask you the question i'm gonna ask you, i'll describe the situation first.
like, how much money it might take to do such and such and get this and that and so on. just some to sit down with and help us figure out numbers, even how much we should charge for labor blah blah blah stuff. monetary stuff that i don't care about when i should.
my buddy stan proposed an idea to me. he's graduating from pgcc next semester, and he's thinking about transferring to towson (i'm graduating next spring, and i'm thinking the same right now). he knows a nice lady who needs her basement painted, but wants it themed, meaning, she needs some interior designing done on the walls when it comes to the painting (graphic designing). stan also knows a nice gentleman who owns a clothing store in a shopping center in largo, and this guy likes stan's t-shirt designs. stan came to the conclusion that he can make some good part time money doing small jobs like painting the basement/designing it, and making t-shirts. but he'll need help. thus he asked me, and another friend (conan). and what he's thinking about is maybe starting a tiny little business up to do that type of thing, graphic designing. with the two seperate/completely different people being the first clients of course. we would set our own rates, and stuff like that. it'll be something small, so it wouldn't really be something that would grow into some corporation, however, it would be our source of part-time income, other than the permanent jobs we already have (with steady salaries that is). now, with all that being said, here are a couple things/questions i have for you/need your input on.
you are a grown person, a person who has experienced life, and still is experiencing it, but you definitely know more about it than i do. SO, what do you think about the whole situation, about starting a part time company like that. a graphic design team. if we are able to make those two jobs a success, and perhaps even get some clients, then stan himself is willing to take out a loan and get us a studio to work from, until then, we would only have whoever's house to work out of. all the mailing would go to one person's house, we would have to create a steady phone number, prolly a cell number, and so on until we get enough rep and clients to be able to do something like get that studio and such. do you think we're trying to take on too much as college students? or do you think that it's an endeavor that would be an excellent learning and money making experience? ALSO, seeing as your the all-wise person i'm going to asking for your opinion on it, do you happen to know anybody who can help us figure out some monetary issues for free?
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