July 21, 2008

  • Sorry I have been gone so long.  We have been busy with some stuff...not the least of which was my Mother, who had a bad headache last week, that ended up being bleeding on the brain which ended up being a stroke....I am happy to say it was a stroke with no residual effects, but it was a crazy week last week with her going to a doctor's appointment, being slapped into ICU, and the roller coaster that ensued after that.  God is good, though, God is good.....


    So here is what I really wanted to tell you about....my visit to the salon.  I decided to treat myself to a pedicure and a half leg wax.  A relaxing, pampering afternoon.  Well, as I sat in the pedicure chair, trying so desperately not to jerk my foot as they used the scrubber on my feet.  I am SO ticklish.  As I sat there, the women were all talking to each other in another language.  I asked the woman working on my feet what language they were speaking.  "Vietnamese", she said.  Recalling the infamous Seinfeld episode, and trying to be funny, I asked her...  "You guys aren't talking about me, are you?"  "Oh no, we not talking 'bout you" she said, then rattled off something loudly in Vietnamese to which everyone else in the place stared at me and laughed hysterically.  I don't know....but I think they WERE talking about me.


    Next I went in to get my legs waxed.... A half leg wax...from the knees down.  Well, when I got into the room the woman said... "I can do bikini wax."  Thinking about the last time I wore a bikini, I chuckled and said "no thanks".  She said "I do pretty heart"  I looked at her in confusion until realization hit as to what she meant by "pretty heart" and I gasped "oh no...no pretty heart....just a half leg wax"...I think I was blushing.  After my legs, she said "Eyebrows, I can do eyebrows".  Well, that sounded like a good idea, so I went ahead and had her do my eyebrows.  She showed them to me in a mirror with great pride.  She had left me about two inch long spikes that made me look like I was angry....or like something smelled bad.... THAT wasn't exactly what I had in mind....  Then she said:  "I do here" pointing to the moustache area "I have  a moustache?" I asked?  "NO" Then she pointed to my chin "I wax"  "I have hair there?  NO" I grabbed my chin  "Here?" she pointed under my chin to my neck.  I gasped "Hair there too?  Impossible! Say it isn't so!  no, no, no!  No more wax!" I practically ran from the room, holding my hand over my face to hide my hairy countenance from the throngs of people in the main room, wax papers flying behind me.  As I quickly paid and left the building in humiliation, looking like something smelled rotten, the sounds of their laughter was still echoing in my ears.


    Not exactly the relaxing afternoon I had in mind.


    At least my toenails were pretty...


    peace....


    peace.....


     

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