These are kind of funny.  I thought I would share....

Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts:

"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

"On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

"The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

"Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

"Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

"The patient refused an autopsy."

"The patient has no past history of suicides."

"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

"Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

"Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

"She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

"She is numb from her toes down."

"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

"The skin was moist and dry."

"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

"Patient was alert and unresponsive."

"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."

"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."

"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."

"Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

"Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

"Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."

"By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

"Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."

"The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

"The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."

funny....I hope that my expiration will be uneventful too...whenever I reach my expiration date, that is....and there are days that I think I have passed it .....

peace...

So, RevJeffreyNE has an unreasonable fear of Macaques, based on a crazy article he read on msn.com.  And we all know how reliable the internet is .  He listed on his site, all of the things he would do to avoid these monkeys if they bare their teeth at him (a sign of aggression) ending with.... <sniff> shooting them.

I want to dedicate today's site to the lighter side of monkeys....those monkeys who have done nothing bad to humans....who come in peace...who live their lives in the jungle, the mighty jungle, where the lion sleeps tonight....in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.....oooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooo..............  aleemalek aleemalek aleemalek...well, you get the point....  here we go....

I love this guy's face!

This guy is just happy...you can tell

Not sure who picked out his threads....

Backrub anyone?

Love....

Not a monkey....but I couldn't resist....have you ever seen such an expression of joy?

These guys don't want anyone hogging their camera time!

In conclusion....Monkeys are cool.  That's all there is to it.  And so are baby elephants and meerkats

peace....

 

I have collected some random pictures and things over time....  figured I would put them up today....

Some of them I could identify with....

 

Some of them made me laugh.....

Some of them made me cry.....

Some of them made me feel all warm and fuzzy.....

And some of them reminded me of my Grandmother and her special hot chocolate....

peace.....

 

Okay, I have been conflicted about Halloween.  I KNOW it is not a "Christian" holiday.  I also know that most of our other holidays have been made into things that are non Christian too....  But I remember all of the joys as a child....okay, and even as an adult....of dressing up in fun costumes and knocking on doors and getting bags of candy.  It was such fun!  And I honestly love opening the door to all of the trick or treaters and seeing their costumes and handing out candy....  How often do you get the chance to have all of those people come to the door?  It breaks my heart to think that kids should lose all of the enjoyment of that time because of the evil stuff....  Can't we ignore the evil stuff and dress up as princesses and pirates and just enjoy the fun of the day without thinking about the occult aspect of the day?

Today I found a blog written by a Pastor...it  kind of encompassed what I have been thinking....  gave me some food for thought.  And I thought I would share it for you.  I don't expect to change anyone's opinions....just something else to think about.....  Here it is:

Halloween: the Christian's second most important holiday

19 October 2007 Jeff Gill

Easter is, of course, the winner. Without the death and resurrection of Jesus there would be no Christianity. That is important to celebrate.

I am relegating Christmas to the number three spot because it is owned by commerce. Yes, Christmas is a wonderful family holiday. Yes, we Christians celebrate the incarnation of God (even though Jesus never said we should). Yes, I love Christmas. But frankly, we Christians just don’t own it anymore. The shops do.

We don’t own Halloween either, but we could.

I grew up hearing about the evils of Halloween – satan worship, demons, razor blades in apples – not from my parents, but from the Christian culture I lived in. I grew up going to Halloween alternative events, having lots of fun in my bible character costume, knowing that I was safe from all the devil-worshiping psychos that were certain to get me if I dared to risk knocking at the doors of the heathens in my neighbourhood.

Then one year I tried it, and I didn’t die.

As soon as my son was old enough (3) I introduced him to the joys of trick-or-treating. That was when I started realising that Halloween is the second most important holiday for Christians.

Jesus said there are two commands that matter: love God and love your neighbour. The Easter holiday is all about the first command. Halloween is all about the second.

What other day of the year can you put on funny clothes and be welcomed at your neighbour’s house? In my neighbourhood Halloween is the only day of the year that that people actually get out of their houses and chat with the neighbours that they don’t know. It is a night of celebrating community.

In the neighbourhood behind our church they throw a party at the shop and lots of people come out and have a great time. That’s where we went trick-or-treating last year.

On Halloween people let down their guard and come out of their houses. And unlike Christmas, it is not fraught with expectations and busy-ness. So here is my plan of how Christians are going to take over Halloween:

1. Ignore the demons and the occultists. (Almost) no one else in your neighbourhood cares in the least about that stuff. They are interested in costumes and sweets. Paul tells us to overcome evil with good, not with huddled prayer meetings in the church basement. If you want a prayer meeting, do it on the 30th. If you want to do some real spiritual warfare, put on some silly clothes and go hang out with your neighbours.

2. Cancel your anti- and alternative events. In the words of Disney’s little mermaid, ‘I want to be where the people are.’ Hint: they live around you in those house-shaped things. Stay home, put some pumpkins in the window, hand out a bunch of sweets (not tracts!) and have a nice chat with all the witches and axe-murderers that come by. Even better, go outside and meet the little ghouls’ parents lurking at the bottom of the drive.

3. Be positive and proactive. Find out in advance where the nervous old people live. Let them know that there will be adults out and about and that you will keep an eye on their house. Have some extra glowsticks to give to kids who need to be more visible. Find good places to hide so you can jump out and scare the trick-or-treaters. If you are feeling really ambitious, have an open house/garden with games and hot chocolate and snacks.

4. Check your motivation. You are doing this because God commands us to love people, not because you are trying to score crowns in heaven by getting converts. People can smell a rat a mile away.

5. Make Halloween the starting place. Probably sometime over the course of the evening you will meet somebody and there will be a bit of a connection. Go with it. Invite them to join you for bonfire night. Have their kid over to play with yours. Give the relationship opportunity to grow. And remember it is about loving people, not converting them. That is the Holy Spirit’s job.

Doesn’t that sound like a lot more fun (and useful) than anything else you could be doing Halloween night?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, I thought that was a good article....it IS a great way to meet your neighbors--in our neighborhood, EVERYONE is out that night--we met a bunch of our neighbors that way!  

Not trying to change anyone's minds...it is just another way to think about it. 

okay, now I am waiting for the shots to be fired....

peace...

Saturday I was putting groceries into my trunk, and a man pointed in my direction, and said to his son....  look at that, isn't she gorgeous....  I was almost flattered until I realized that they were pointing to the car beside me which was this (but in black):

I asked him what it was (being naive in the upper end cars....) Looking at me with a bit of disdain, he said...THAT is the Mercedes 2008 S600 Sedan.  I looked up the specs online as soon as I got home (since I am a computer geek.

No luxury sedan can touch the S600. Why? Virtually every state-of-the-art option comes standard, like Active Body Control (ABC), that counters roll in aggressive maneuvers, and Distronic Plus adaptive cruise control that automatically maintains your chosen following distance from the vehicle ahead. The supportive calm of Drive-Dynamic multicontour front seats covered with exclusive leather — yet, another standard feature — warms, cools, and even massages you as its biturbo V-12 delivers 510 horsepower to bolt it from 0 to 60 in just 4.5 seconds.

Nice, huh?  And the STARTING MSRP?  $144,975

Wanna hear the kicker?

The license plates said "REV P" and there was a sign inside that said "Pastor"

hmmmm 

I know what our Pastor is making and there is no way he could afford a car like that and if he could, he wouldn't.

How many missionaries could be supported for a year.....

guess I am being judgemental, though....

sorry.

peace.....

So I am going to start with the Good Example.  And it is not me, it is my friend JohnnyBenice who did a GREAT job of thinking on his feet and answering pointed questions about Christianity.  Go to his site and read it!  You will be encouraged! 

Impatience and I have a very close relationship....that is to say that patience is definitely not my forte'.  I have had my patience tested mightily this week TWICE!  First, on Wednesday night, we took our psycho dog, Dell, to the vet (more on this later).  Now she is the nervous one who basically whines and howls in the vet's office, even after a couple of benadryl (given to sedate her and calm her nerves).  We always plan trips with her so that we get there just before the appointment time, and then can spend a minimal amount of time in the waiting room, so as not to drive anyone (ourselves included) crazy.  We got there at 5:28 for our 5:30 appointment.  We took our seats, and there was only one lady there with a cat carrier who ignored us, then there was one other lady who had no animal with us, but had the "look".  As Dell began her whining and howling, this person started looking our way...now Ron and I know that to give Dell too much attention only escalates her excitement and her nervousness.  Other people....well meaning, nosy people who sit in vet's offices who think they know everything...always feel that they know better than we do and can calm her for us.  So I saw this woman out of the corner of my eye begin to make her move.  All the while, I am praying that they will open a door and call our name, because dealing with the people is more annoying than dealing with our dog....but it was not to be....this woman moved over to my side and began talking to the dog, who momentarily quieted (that is the trick she plays on everyone...gives them the feeling that they are accomplishing something)....so the woman looks at me and starts to say "she just needs a little...." when she was interrupted by the loudest wailing and howling and Dell launched herself into my lap....  I turned to the woman (reminding myself inside that the woman meant well and that I should not say any of the mean spirited things, or smug things that were springing to my brain) and said, "she is a nervous dog, and she does better if we leave her alone"  We had to put up with it for another 20 minutes more before our turn finally came.  The vet was running very late...some lame excuse about a cat not breathing or something....whatever.... 

Impatience story number two.  Thursday was my big hair overhaul day.  Once every two months, I go in and get my hair cut, and my natural color updated.  People sometimes ask if my hair is my natural color....since I always have done some color to my hair, therefore it is natural for my hair to have color in it, so yes, this is my natural color.....that is my answer that I am sticking to....  Anyway, in my salon, you go to one person to have your color done, and another for the cut.  I got there early for my 4:30 appt, and the color took almost 2 hours, and my cut appt was at 6:30, so I was ready for Brian, my cut guy....  Well, he was running behind...which he never is.  So they said, here, we will give you this special conditioning....  Okay....  30 minutes later, I am once again sitting and waiting...now my impatience came when the woman before me (who is the one who came late, and asked him to do extra stuff and therefore had made him late) sat there and kept talking to him, and kept asking him questions even after he was done with her hair....she kept asking him about products and stuff....  And she knew she was late.  So I sat down in his chair at 7:15 for my 6:30 appointment.  So I was at the hair place from 4:15 until 8PM.  And I was cranky and impatient. 

Thursday a week ago, Dell turned around and had a lump on the side of her face.  Now Ron always accuses me of running our dogs to the vet too frequently, so he looked into her mouth....nothing seemed bad,  so we thought about it, and figured it must be a bee sting, as the bees are crazy right now, so we gave her benadryl and it seemed to be better the next day.  She didn't seem to be in pain, everything else looked fine.  On Monday it looked a little worse to me, and on Tuesday it was really bad--her eye was halfway closed.  I waited for Ron to come home that day, and we agreed that I would make a vet appt for Wednesday.  That night we talked about all of the things it could be.  We finally decided that either one of the dogs had nipped her during a wrestling match, or she had a tumor.  Me, being the morbid one, embraced the latter, and based on some other behaviors, and the fact that she is ten, we kind of prepared ourselves for the worst....    So once we got into the vet's office, the vet techs took her temp....she had a really high fever of 104  The guilt that filled me then, for waiting so long until bringing her in was overwhelming.....  I felt awful.  The vet techs could not figure out what was going on with her....we were still filled with fear....  The vet walked in, took one look and said "she has an abscessed tooth that has gotten infected".  Ron says "You mean she's not going to die?"  Which now makes me laugh hysterically, because as he said, it would have been a lot cheaper than getting that abscessed tooth pulled....but....we love our dog   We have to get rid of the infection before we can do that anyway....  I just feel horrible that she was suffering and I didn't know.  But she couldnt tell me.  Ugh.

Well, fortunately God doesn't expect us to be perfect...'cause I would flunk out!

peace.....

We had a nice day on Sunday.  On Sunday afternoon, our neighborhood had a block party--for the whole neighborhood.  It was the first one ever in the neighborhood's 16 year existance-and they had it directly in front of our house.  They closed off the street, and assigned food by first letter of last name...  We happen to have a guy who is a competitive barbecue competitor who lives in the neighborhood (who know?  I guess I do, now!) who made brisket, chicken and pork on this huge barbecue/smoker thing that was on wheels attached to the back of his truck.  He also made hot dogs for the kids.  There was a moon bounce and a fire truck with a demonstration for the kids, and Ron and I brought out some prizes that we had in the basement from a past Vacation Bible School and handed them out so that the kids would have something to take home.  Everybody just walked up from their house with chairs on their back and food and started mingling.  I discovered (well, honestly, I already knew it) that I am bad at mingling, but fortunately, others are really good at it, so while I was shy about walking up to people, they were nice about walking up to me.  And so many people commented about things that we had done to our house, and to our gardens.  We are now much more aware about how keenly people are watching, and know that we have to pay more attention to the front of our house   One lady wanted to walk up closer to see our flowers closer, so we gave her a tour.  People want us to come and give them gardening advice....if they only knew the level of trial and error that we have applied to our garden...we don't really know what we are doing, we just pretend we do!  It was nice, though...made us feel great!  Ron found lots of fellow astronomy buffs who live in the neighborhood, including an astrophysisist.who works at NASA, so he was in his element!  I found two delightful older Indian ladies-one from up the street, and one from down the street- who were original owners in the neighborhood, and were sharing recipes with me and telling me stories about the neighborhood when it was first built.  They were very sweet.  It's an interesting neighborhood....And it was a fun day....and the weather was perfect.  The funny thing is that it was supposed to go from 2-4, and people were still coming with food at 4:30. 

The only bad thing was that Ron got stung by a bee and he is very allergic, so now he has a catcher's mitt for a hand and is on prednisone and benadryl.....poor thing.  He is probably the only one who got stung that day.....All he was doing was standing there...

Hope everyone is having a good week

peace....

 

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (CNN) -- The mother of a 14-year-old boy accused of planning a "Columbine" type event at a high school was arrested Friday morning, county prosecutors say.

She is accused of buying a 9 mm assault rifle for her son several weeks ago at a local gun show, in violation of "straw purchase laws." 

Police told CNN the boy's mother bought the rifle for him several weeks ago at a gun show. Lawrence said police are also investigating whether she bought him the black powder used in the grenades......."

MENOMONEE FALLS, Wis. -- A Menomonee Falls woman and two friends are accused of giving her toddler a marijuana cigarette and videotaping the incident.

Police said the three adults were smoking pot, when they passed the marijuana to the woman's 2-year-old boy, WISN-TV in Milwaukee reported..."

Why would a mother........?

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it...."

peace.....

 

Yesterday it was 91 and today we had a high of 58. 

What's going on?

Oh, and Sunday's a big game, isn't it?

Jason Campbell, the Redskins Quarterback was named the NFC player of the week.....

And Ron got to meet him on Tuesday....Jason was in Ron's studio. 

And Ron didn't get an autograph...

Yup, Sunday will be a big game.

peace...